Archive for February, 2011
POW! Right in the Kisser!
Most days I forget that my kid has special needs. She’s smart, beautiful, rotten, and lives to aggravate her brother. She’s your perfectly normal average kiddo. Then one day, WHAM! It hits me like a ton of bricks and I remember what a long road we have traveled and how much further we have yet to go. Of course it can’t ever happen when I’m home alone with a glass of wine. No, of course not. It’s always when I least expect it and have zero time to deal with it. Which is exactly what happened today… over and over and over again.
Lizzie has been begging to have a friend over, so today we had cousin H over for a play date. She was so excited! We picked him up on our way home, and once we got in the house I asked Lizzie to change her pull-up. No problem. She went right in, changed herself and that was that. I started herding them towards the door to play outside when she stopped me and said, “you have to change H’s pull-ups!” I explained to her that H wasn’t wet, and she said I needed to change him anyway. This is when things started going very badly.
Lizzie suddenly realized that H (whose younger than she is) was wearing big boy underwear, and let’s just say it didn’t sit well with her. Ok, let’s be honest and say, she went absolutely berserk! She ran in her room, slammed the door shut, and leaned against it so that I couldn’t open it. She then proceeded to yell through the door at the top of her lungs in several different languages. She was apparently never coming out of her room again unless I let her wear underwear. Never!!!
Eventually I convinced her to open the door. I’d love to say it was my fabulous parenting skills, but it was mostly the Valentine’s Day cookies that convinced her to finally come out (is there anything that girl won’t do for some sugar?). She came out, wiped her tears and climbed up in my lap. With a mouthful of cookie crumbs she whispered in my ear, “I’m bigger than him, and it’s just not fair mom. It’s just not fair at all.” She then grabbed her second cookie and ran off to play. She was over it. The end. I on the other hand, was just getting started.
Talk about brokenhearted. I was barely holding it together. I sent the kids to the swing set and I sat on the porch for a little time out and a tear or two. I learned a long time ago that sometimes you need to take time to grieve. It’s ok to be sad and broken …. sometimes. You just can’t let it take over. A quick little pity party, no more and no less. It’s surprisingly therapeutic, and then you move on.
About an hour later, as I’m eavesdropping on the sweet conversation between 3 year olds, it hits me all over again. Boo: “H, will you hold my hand?” H:”Sure!” Boo: ”I can’t wear underwear.” H: ”Sorry.” Boo: ”Yeah, me too. But I don’t eat baby food.” And then they jump on the swing and begin talking about the weather. Literally! So innocent and so beautiful. And so hard for a mother to hear.
I just had no idea how strongly she was feeling about it all. I’m her mom, how could I not know? We’ve had the great underwear discussion a number of times, but she’s always seemed to understand it and accept it pretty well. She’s never been happy about it (who can blame her?) but she’s a smart girl, and she gets it. Kids with a vesicostomy are wet all.the.time. It’s just a part of who she is, for better or worse. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any easier for her and it doesn’t make her feel like any less of a baby. Where’s the manual that tells you how to fix that?!
We had one last discussion about it… over dinner of course! We were hanging out at the local Mexican restaurant doing the whole family thing when Lizzie busts out (at the top of her lungs I might add!) “Hey mom! Do you wear underwear?” Nothing like living in a small town and having your kid yelling about your underwear at the dinner table. Might not have been so bad if it had stopped there, but of course we spent the next 20 minutes discussing the ins and outs of undies. Isn’t that what your family talked about over dinner?
So here I am tonight feeling a little sorry for myself and a lot sorry for my sweet babe. She’s been through so much, and it’s just not fair. Don’t get me wrong, I know how very lucky we are. And most days that’s enough. But being mom isn’t always easy. Making decisions about your kiddos isn’t easy. Some days it just sucks. It happens to the best of us. Lucky for me tomorrow is a brand new day!
And We Have a Date!
Not the fun, hang out with your friends kind of date, but a date nonetheless. And even though there’s no dinner involved we’re still pretty excited about it. At least I think we are. Today was Boo’s urology appointment and as usual she did fabulous. Have I mentioned lately how much that kid amazes me? Her renal ultrasound looked great with no new abnormalities or hydro, and the kidneys appear to be growing well. Blood pressure also looked good today, so we couldn’t be happier.
After all that fun testing, we met with Dr. P and discussed what our options were at this point. Basically we have 2 options, surgery now or surgery later. Originally we thought the plan was to only have the vesicostomy for about 12 months, but that was almost 3 years ago. We’ve known all along that at some point she would have the vesicostomy reversed, but we’ve been in no hurry to take it down since it has been working so well. We were actually expecting another year or 2, but apparently the time has come. On most levels I’m really excited about the reversal. It’s exciting to be moving toward something a bit more normal. Heaven knows we’ve got very little normal around here to begin with.
There is of course another big part of me that is completely terrified. Like the doctor said, “we’re going to take it down and cross our fingers” because that’s about all we can do. Reassuring huh? You don’t really want your surgeon saying he’s going to cross his fingers when talking about your kid and a knife, but the truth is that we really have no idea what the reversal will mean. We can’t do any testing to see what is going on while the bladder is open, but we have to reverse it sometime.
Obviously our hope is that everything goes well, and her bladder works correctly on it’s own, and that the VUR is resolved. We realize that that’s a lot of hoping, and as much as we pray it happens, Dr. P made sure that I knew that this might mean we start back at square 1. And believe me, square 1 is not a place I ever want to go back to. Never. Ever.
After weighing all of our options, we made a really tough decision, but one that we feel really good about. We’re moving ahead with the surgery and we have a date. June 1st. Just saying it out loud makes me nervous, and I have a feeling that the next few months are going to be really long ones. Time ceases to fly when your waiting, waiting, waiting…. and we all know how very patient I am (haha!). So do me a favor and put Boo and Dr. P on your prayer list. I know they will be on the top of mine!
We’re off to see the Wizard…
The wonderful Wizard of Urology. Doesn’t sound that exciting, but believe me, it’s more like Oz than you might think. Fortunately for us, it’s been 6 months since we’ve seen the wizard, and that alone is pretty darn exciting. Even better? We’ve somehow managed to avoid not just Urology, but Nephrology and Immunology for the last 6 months as well. Ahh the ever elusive trifecta. Now that’s what I call a nice vacation.
But then, all good things must come to an end.
Too be honest, I’m actually looking forward to today’s visit. Crazy I know. I mean who looks forward to sitting in a doctors office all morning with a rowdy 3 year old? Why me of course!
Really I’m just excited to finally have some good news to share with Dr. P! Boo can’t wait to tell Dr. P her “super big news”…. she is pooping in the potty! All by herself. It’s a pretty big deal for us. She’s really excited about it and we couldn’t be more proud. She keeps telling me how proud Dr. P is going to be, how he’s going to be excited. Don’t worry, I have every intention of sliding him a note letting him know that jumping up and down is fully expected upon hearing the news. After all, I’m pretty sure I’ve paid for his middle child’s tuition. It’s the least he can do.
In all honesty, I’m sure he will be super excited for her! She’s only had a handful of accidents since Christmas, and for the first time I feel real optimism about the future. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been hopeful, but 24 months ago we were discussing the possibility of nerve damage to both her bladder and bowel. Now we know she has sensation to her bowel, and we’re pretty sure to her bladder as well. Believe me, that’s exciting news! Who knew poop would be so exciting?!?!?
So what does it all mean? Well, who knows really? It is Oz after all, so anything could happen. What we are hoping is that this may move her next surgery up about 6 months, which would mean she could have the vesicostomy reversed this time next year. Then we’ll only be 3 years past our original projection of 12 months (haha!). Hey, I’ll take it! Other than that, we just keep on keeping on as long as her blood pressure looks good, and she isn’t showing any new abnormalities in the ureters or kidneys. If everything is growing and looking good then we climb back on the waiting train until our next urology visit, which we hope is not for another 6 months!
Lizzie’s Journey with Kidney Reflux
Our little Lizzie was born in April, 2007. She was a perfectly healthy, beautiful baby girl weighing 7 pounds and 7 ounces. She completed our family of four, and we could not have been happier. We had no reason to suspect that she had any medical problems, and had no idea what our future would hold.
When Lizzie was six weeks old, we decided to visit family about 3 hours away. My sister was having her fourth baby, and my brother’s wife had recently had her first. We had all shared our pregnancies together, and I was excited to have all the new babies together. I will forever be thankful that we made that trip.
While we were visiting, Lizzie slept through the night for the first time. She usually nursed at least once or twice through the night, so I was surprised that morning when I had to wake her to nurse. She ate well, and I chalked it up to excitement, and a change in schedule. We were all a little exhausted. She continued to sleep a little more than usual that day, but she seemed happy and content when she was awake. She wasn’t too interested in nursing, but she ate ok, and I didn’t think much of it. After all, she was a fat, healthy baby, so it just seemed like normal six week old baby stuff. That evening things began to change.
She felt a little warm, so I took her temperature, 99.5 F, nothing to really worry about, but I was becoming a little concerned. A short time later, when I felt her forehead, she seemed very hot. Her fever had spiked to 103 F and we went immediately to the nearest Children’s Hospital Clinic. It was only then that I began to realize how serious the situation was. Both the doctor and nurse were obviously concerned, and left the room to make phone calls. A few minutes later we were taken by ambulance to the nearest Children’s Hospital.
My world was turning completely upside down. I will never forget how absolutely tiny she looked sitting in her car seat, which was strapped to what seemed like an enormous gurney. It was completely surreal and absolutely terrifying. No one would tell me what might be wrong, or what we might be facing. I have never been as frightened as I was that night.
In just a few short hours our lives were changed forever. When we arrived at the hospital we were met at the door by a medical team and immediately taken to a room where they started an IV, and began running tests. I had no idea what to think or what to do. It was obvious that something was very wrong, and I had no idea what. It was all happening so fast, and no one could give me any answers. She was started on antibiotics, and by morning they had done multiple tests, chest x-rays, and a spinal tap. We were so disappointed and worried to discover that they still didn’t know what was wrong with our little girl.
The next few days were an exhausting roller coaster of ups and downs. They discovered a heart murmur, but were unsure if it was related to the infection or due to a problem with her heart. Her heart rate was very fast, and she was kept on a heart monitor much of the time she was hospitalized. For a while we were more concerned about her heart than her infection, and were thankful when her ekg later came back normal. The murmur was eventually attributed to the infection. We still weren’t sure what was wrong with our little girl, but we were beginning to rule out some of the more serious conditions, and the antibiotics seemed to be fighting the infection, whatever it was. Things were starting to look up.
On her fifth day in the hospital, Lizzie had a test called a VCUG and we finally discovered what had made our little girl so sick. Lizzie had a condition called Vesicoureteral Reflux (kidney reflux) and it had caused her to become very ill. A bacterial infection which had started in her bladder as a UTI had moved into her kidneys and was spreading throughout her body. Because she was so young, her immune system was weak, and the infection was moving into her other organs. We were very lucky to have gotten such wonderful medical care so quickly. I refuse to think about how different things might have been if we had been at home with just a small town hospital.
Too be honest, we were relieved when we first found out that Lizzie had kidney reflux. Yes, our child had a condition that can be very dangerous, but with early detection and the success of surgery, this was very good news compared to some of the other conditions that had been discussed . Lizzie had the most severe grade of VUR, and it was affecting both of her kidneys. We also discovered that she had an additional ureter on the left side and later found out that she had an additional ureter on the right side as well. We knew this might make surgery a little more complicated, but it doesn’t often cause a lot of complications. VUR would require her to be on daily antibiotics, and she would need surgery a few years down the road, but it was a very treatable condition, and we had time. We weren’t looking at surgery for another 3-5 years, and until then she would just require monitoring. We could handle this.
She was released from the hospital on daily antibiotics, and she recovered quickly. She was growing, gaining weight and tolerating the antibiotics well. We were surprised seven weeks later when her fever spiked again. Another trip to the ER revealed another infection. After talking to her urologist and having another ultrasound, we were confident that by changing her daily antibiotic we would be able to keep her healthy. She was now 3 months old, and could take a stronger, more effective antibiotic which would hopefully keep her urine sterile. We were again very hopeful.
You can imagine my surprise and frustration when just a few weeks later, she showed signs of another infection. Multiple doctor visits and catheters later, we discovered that this time she had a resistant strain of bacteria which would require a hospital stay for IV antibiotics. After the first few days in the hospital, we were given 2 options. We could spend the next 8-10 days in the hospital, or she could have a pic line put in. A pic line would be a longer term IV through which we could give her the antibiotic infusions at home. It was a pretty easy decision to make at the time. If you’ve spent any amount in of time in a hospital, you know exactly what I mean. The following Monday she had her pic line placed. As always, she was amazingly patient, and she did great with the procedure, she has always been such a little fighter.
Before leaving the hospital, we spoke again to the urologist, and agreed that it was time to schedule her ureteral reimplantation surgery. We expected to have 3-5 years to think about this surgery. Instead she would be having her first surgery when she was just 5 months old. I was so sad and so scared for my baby. She seemed so small and fragile. I dreaded every part of the surgery, but I was also hopeful. This would finally mean no more infections, no more hospitals, and no more antibiotics. Lizzie would be a healthy little girl and we could put this behind us. I was really looking forward to that new chapter in our lives.
Before we made it to our surgery date, Lizzie had another infection. Because of the infection , we were admitted to the hospital 24 hours before the surgery so that she could receive IV antibiotics to ensure the infection was gone. The next morning, our baby girl went in for surgery. She would have her ureters removed from her bladder and reimplanted back into the bladder in the correct place. The surgery is up to 98% successful and generally has few complications. Regardless of the statistics, as a parent you are always terrified. Placing your child in someone else’s hands for surgery is the hardest thing that I have ever faced. It was the longest 5 hours of my life. We hadn’t expected such a long surgery, but during the procedure, they found a fourth ureter which also needed to be reimplanted. I can’t even begin to describe the relief that I felt when the nurse came out to tell us that the surgery had gone well, and that we could see our baby.
Lizzie is an amazing little girl. She woke up from her surgery and began nursing right away. She struggled with dehydration and bladder spasms for a short time after the surgery, but after 2 days we were allowed to go home. The first week or so was hard, but I was surprised at how soon she was back to her happy, loveable, healthy self. The surgery was deemed a success, and we believed that our journey with VUR was finally over. Little did we know that our journey had just begun.
I was completely blindsided by her next infection. I just didn’t expect it. I remember taking her temperature and having this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. How could this be happening again? And why is it happening to us? After having another long conversation with our urologist, we were assured that this wasn’t terribly uncommon within the first 6 months after surgery. We shouldn’t worry just yet. According to him, her body just needed some time to heal. This infection could be from swelling, or bacteria in the incision, or any other number of things. He assured us that it didn’t automatically mean the surgery had failed. We needed to stay optimistic. Her renal ultrasound looked good, and we would once again try changing her antibiotics and crossing our fingers. I tried to be optimistic and believe what he was saying. I had done enough research to know that he was right, the statistics say 98% success rate. But it just didn’t feel right. Something else was going on with Lizzie, and I desperately needed someone to figure out what.
I have to admit, that I really wasn’t that surprised when, like clock-work, she got another infection 5 or 6 weeks later. I tried so hard to believe what they were telling me about the surgery, but I just knew deep down that something wasn’t right. Sometimes a mother just knows. After this infection, we did another VCUG to see if we could figure out what was really going on. Her VCUG revealed that she still had high grade VUR, and her diagnosis remained unchanged. Her ureters were now in the correct place, and there was no real explanation for why her VUR had persisted, or why the surgery had not corrected the problem. So now what?
Our next step was to begin rotating her antibiotics weekly to try and keep the urine sterile, which of course did not work. Now she was having increasing bowel issues and yeast issues, and by the time we turned around, she had yet another infection. I was at at the end of my rope. To make matters worse, this time it was another resistant bacteria which would require another hospital stay and another pic line. I couldn’t believe that we were right back were we started before the surgery. In all honesty, I felt like we were going backwards. We still had no resolution of the VUR, she had now developed mild hydronephrosis and an enlarged bladder and here we were with more questions than answers.
This time the pic line placement did not go well, and I vowed to do all I could to never be in this situation again. It was a horrible terrible experience and I was determined to find answers. We needed to be aggressive, much more aggressive. Each new infection could potentially permanently damage her kidneys and cause more complications. Studies show that kidney damage is most common in children under the age of 1, during active kidney infections. Lizzie was only 10 months old, and she was racking up the infections one after the other. Lizzie’s kidneys continued to look good on ultrasound, which we were very thankful for, but we also knew that one more infection could change that. We were desperate to find a way to keep her kidneys safe.
Our next step was to have a video-urodynamics study done. This test would show if there were any problems in her bladder that might be causing her reflux as a secondary condition. Much to our surprise, her bladder was working pretty well, but was grossly enlarged. It was so large, that the nurse actually stopped the test before the bladder was completely full, because she was afraid of doing damage. At this point, we decided that until we had more answers, the best way to keep her kidneys safe was to have a cutaneous vesicostomy put in.
When Lizzie was 11 months old, she had her second surgery which would include two surgical procedures, one to put a vesicostomy in place and another to administer a Deflux injection. The vesicostomy is a urinary diversion that would divert her urine through her abdomen so that urine could not reflux into her kidneys and cause damage. This way her bladder would remain empty, making it harder for bacteria to colonize and harder for urine to move into the kidneys. We were hopeful that this would stop her constant kidney infections, and buy us some time to find answers. The Deflux injection was done as a kind of Hail Mary. The hope is that it might reduce the reflux, by building a flap to prevent urine from entering the ureters. This is not commonly done for grade V bilateral reflux, but because she was already under general anesthesia with an incision in the bladder, we decided that there was little risk in performing the procedure, and we’re keeping our fingers crossed that it might even work.
The vesicostomy has worked better than we could have ever imagined, and has been a true blessing to our little Lizzie. Since her surgery she has not had a single urinary tract infection, which is obviously a huge thing for us. I can’t say it is always easy, but it is always worth it. Always.
Lizzie is about to turn four and she is doing great. Since her last surgery, we have continued testing and looking for answers. She had an MRI to rule out spinal abnormalities which can sometimes cause urinary problems. We were thankful when the test showed no abnormalities. She also underwent a DMSA scan which showed no significant scarring in the kidneys, which, too be quite honest is really a miracle. She does have some abnormalities in her kidneys. One kidney is much larger than the other, and the opposite kidney is being bent by pressure from her spleen. The good news is that the overall function of her kidneys is good. One is functioning at 41% and the other at 59%, keeping the overall function to 100% which is great! We recently had a scare with her blood pressure, but after further evaluation, we feel like it is remaining within the normal limits so for now we can let it ride, and just continue to monitor it. We also continue to monitor her immunity system. She has some mild immunity issues, but even her immunity issues have been significantly reduced since taking her off of daily antibiotics.
Lizzie still has an uncertain road and a long journey ahead of her. We have recently made the decision to take down her vesicostomy, and she will have surgery in June of this year. It was a big decision, but we feel like it’s time, and we are glad to be moving forward. Our hope of course is that when they take down the vesicostomy her bladder will work properly and that the reflux will have been corrected or resolved. Unfortunately we have no way to test either of those things because of the opening in her bladder, which is just a little ironic if you think about it.
Removing the vesicostomy will hopefully be a positive experience, but we have to also be prepared for the fact that it could mean that the infections come back. If they do? Well, we’ll cross that road if we get there. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time we’ve faced tough obstacles. For now I’m doing my research, looking forward with hope and expecting great things. I’m also making sure to take time out along the way for Lizzie and I to stop and smell the roses.
For more information on Kidney Reflux click here.
What is Kidney Reflux?
When our daughter Lizzie was diagnosed with Vesicoureteral Reflux (aka Kidney Reflux) we had no idea what that meant. I had never even heard of kidney reflux and I certainly didn’t understand all that the doctor was telling me. Our 6 week old daughter had been rushed to the Hospital with a high fever and had been put through a number of tests. Now they were telling us that she had this condition called reflux and that it would probably require surgery somewhere down the line. In what seemed like a moment, our lives were changed forever. We now knew what was wrong with our little girl, but we still had no idea what that meant or what we could do to fix it. And so our journey began.
Vesicoureteral Reflux (VUR) is also known as kidney reflux, or bladder reflux. There are two kinds of reflux, primary and secondary. Primary VUR affects 90% of the children that are diagnosed with reflux. In Primary VUR, children are born with a defect in the ureterovesical junction (UVJ valve). This basically means that there is a valve where the ureter enters the bladder, and that valve is not doing its job correctly. Because of this defect, there is an abnormal flow of urine from the bladder back up into the kidneys, where it can cause permanent damage. Secondary VUR has the same abnormal flow of urine, but instead of being caused by a defect in the UVJ valve, it is caused by a secondary, underlying condition such as nuerogenic bladder, immunity disorder, or other medical condition. With secondary VUR, the underlying condition must be treated to correct the reflux.
Reflux by itself is not dangerous. The danger comes when reflux is coupled with an infection in the urinary tract. For unknown reasons, children with reflux often have a much higher incidence of urinary tract infection (UTI). When a child with reflux develops a UTI, the infected urine moves upward into the kidneys where it can cause the kidneys to become infected (pyelonephritis). Infection in the kidneys can cause renal scarring, and damage to the kidneys, which can eventually lead to renal failure if not treated.
KidneyReflux can affect only one kidney or both. If only one kidney is affected, it is called unilateral reflux and when both kidneys are infected it is called bilateral reflux. In some cases, like the case of our daughter’s, there can be duplicated ureters (or extra ureters). In these cases, 1 or all of the ureters can be affected, and each ureter is given a grade. These grades are based on how severely each individual ureter is affected.
What is Kidney Reflux?
How is Reflux Graded?
Symptoms of Reflux
Testing for Reflux
Treatment for Reflux
Symptoms of Reflux
Vesicoureteral Reflux (VUR) is said to occur in 1-2% of healthy children, although some believe that this number may actually be higher. There could be a number of children with low grade reflux that never have symptoms, and may never know that they have the condition.
The most common symptom of VUR is urinary tract infection. About one third of children that present with UTI are found to have VUR. (reference)
The UTI, while uncomfortable, is not dangerous by itself. When coupled with VUR, it can become quite dangerous because the bacteria in the infected urine can then travel back up the ureter and into the kidney, which can cause the kidneys to become infected (pyelonephritis). A kidney infection can be dangerous, because the infection can cause renal scarring, and permanent damage to the kidney. Because of the potential for damage to the kidneys, it is important to have children evaluated further after UTI, especially when accompanied by nausea and/or fever (both of which can signify that the infection has moved into the kidneys). And especially young children under the age of two. Infants should always be evaluated for UTI if there is a high fever and no obvious explanation (no rash, virus, etc.).
Other symptoms can include:
- Bedwetting
- Hydronephrosis
- Failure to thrive
- High blood pressure
- Nausea and vomiting
- Proteinuria
What is Kidney Reflux?
How is Reflux Graded?
Symptoms of Reflux
Testing for Reflux
Treatment for Reflux
How is Reflux Graded?
We were beginning to understand what vesicoureteral reflux was, and why our daughter had been diagnosed, but we still didn’t understand what they meant by the grades of reflux? We were told that grade V was the most severe grade, but I still had no idea how that was determined, or what it really meant.
The grades of reflux are determined by the severity of the condition in each ureter. According to an article on Medscape, reflux grades are determined by the following standards:
Grade I – urine backs up into ureter only, and the renal pelvis (the renal pelvis is the area at the center of the kidney, urine collects here and is funneled into the ureter.) appears healthy, with sharp calyces (calyces are the collecting area for urine within kidney before it is passed through to the renal pelvis).
Grade II – urine backs up into the ureter, renal pelvis, and calyces. The renal pelvis appears healthy, with sharp calyces.
Grade III – urine backs up into the ureter and collecting system. The ureter and pelvis appear mildly dilated, and the calyces are mildly blunted.
Grade IV – urine backs up into the ureter and collecting system. The ureter and renal pelvis appear moderately dilated, and the calyces are moderately blunted.
Grade V – urine backs up into the ureter and collecting system. The pelvis severely dilates, the ureter appears tortuous, and calyces are severely blunted.
The good news is that reflux resolves spontaneously before adolescents in most cases of Primary VUR, depending on the grade. The resolution rates for grade III and under is found to be up to 80%. As the grade of reflux increases, the odds of resolution decrease. Grade 4 only has a resolution rate of about 10%, and grade 5 has very little chance of resolving spontaneously. For us that meant that Lizzie’s reflux would probably not resolve over time, and would eventually require surgery. They explained to us that they would still give her body a chance to heal itself and that we would wait until age 4 or 5 before considering surgery unless there were other complications.
What is Kidney Reflux?
How is Reflux Graded?
Symptoms of Reflux
Testing for Reflux
Treatment for Reflux



